Happy Valentine’s Day!

If you’re like me, you spent some time this week searching for the perfect card for those you love. You opened and closed countless cards that declared sentimental love in frilly writing on a floral background. If the cards don’t have fancy sentiments, they have sexual innuendos. I was looking for cards with my kids in tow, so my hunt ended around the time my seven-year-old asked, “Mom? Why does this card say ‘SEX?'”

We needed to get out of there, and I grabbed one that had no flowers and was as plainspoken as one can expect to find in the greeting card section around Valentine’s Day.

Here are the cards I was hoping for, though.

I don’t believe in soulmates, but I do believe in the kind of love that compels a man to put the kids to bed and bring me a hot mug of tea. I can’t be the only one who finds this incredibly sexy, so where are our Valentine’s Day cards?