For my birthday this year, my mom gave me a card with this sassy girl on the front.
Which I loved, because of this:
Feast your eyes on this beauty. My getup and sensible bob suggest I’d skip recess to do your taxes, and my gigantic glasses betray my awful eyesight, particularly for a fourth grader. The following year I got those bad-ass glasses that have the blue tint on the top of the frame and the peach on the bottom. It was supposed to look like makeup, and it totally worked not at all.
I’m pretty sure this picture is what made my husband decide to marry me. It would’ve been a shame to not pass those genes on, amirite? Even my little brother, with a shiny stream of snot running from his nose to his mouth, both in the smiley shot and the serious floating head pose, had cuter pictures than I did this particular year.
This picture will forever explain why no matter how jacked my teeth have looked in the past and will doubtlessly look in the future, I’ll always show my grill when I grin. Go home, fourth grade me. You’re drunk.