Technology is starting to freak me out. Have you guys heard about “catfishing”? I just read about it on Toulouse and Tonic, and I immediately had to Google the shizz out of it. Like the rest of America, I heard the story of Notre Dame football player Manti Te’o being duped into falling in love with a fictional woman, but I didn’t know the phenomenon had a name. Since I am a stay at home mom in the suburbs, I rely heavily on Urban Dictionary to teach me about all the foreign terms I read about on the internet, and its definition of catfishing is “The phenomenon of internet predators that fabricate online identities and entire social circles to trick people into emotional/romantic relationships (over a long period of time).” There is a documentary called Catfish and a MTV series, too. They both follow the story of online relationships, and how they aren’t always what they seem.
Since starting this blog, I have made some blogging friends. These are women I have never met, whose pictures I’ve seen online, and who I have corresponded with via Facebook, Twitter, and email. How do I know that instead of moms like me, they aren’t confused, overweight men in their twenties, honing their catfishing skills on me before hooking a college football star? I think I’m going to have to insist we meet face to face before I can get in any deeper. Ladies, send me plane fare, and I’ll book my flight to come visit!
Even scarier than fake internet girlfriends is webcam spying. Internet predators can gain remote access to a victim’s webcam, and spy without ever being discovered. What if my webcam is on right now, with some creepy internet Peeping Tom watching me while I crinkle my nose trying to find the right adjective for this post? I recently saw a laptop that had duct tape covering the webcam opening, and my assumption was that the owner was afraid of accidentally Skyping someone while looking at embarrassing things online. Turns out, he was afraid of some peeper seeing him picking his nose while Googling sports stuff. Since my laptop is open pretty much all day long, a webcam Peeping Tom could really get an eyeful from my computer.
- Laughing. At my kids, You Tube videos, ridiculous crafts that I pin on Pinterest, and Facebook status updates. Often my own, if you must know. I think I’m sooo clever.
- Eating raw cookie dough out of a ziploc bag. And peanut butter off of a spoon. We call those “peanut butter lollipops” up in here. The things I eat in front of my computer is probably the most embarrassing thing I do.
- Cooking. Generally, I read a recipe out loud, walk to the fridge, forget what I needed, walk back to the computer, read the ingredients again, and go back to the fridge. This may happen four or five times. I repeat the process with spices and dry goods.
- Watching TV with my husband after the kids go to bed, and saying “Who is that guy? No, like in real life. What else is he in? Is that the guy who was dating that one chick?” I then roll my eyes, because The Doctor never knows a damn thing about celebrity relationships. I look it up on IMDb and share my findings with my disinterested husband.
- I frequently select a chunk of my atypically long hair, and pull it into a Tom Selleck mustache. I should probably get my hair cut, since I can’t be sure I don’t do this out in public, and I’m many things, but I’m no Tom Selleck.
