Like a Mom

I know the term “Like a boss” is totally played out, but I’m a dork, and a while back I did something mom-esque, and threw the tag “Like a mom” on it. Now I can’t stop tagging everything I do. Here are a few examples.

  1. I have a secret stash of candy hiding in the pantry. I eat the candy while hiding in the pantry. #likeamom
  2. I throw my arm out at sudden stops to protect the bag of wine sitting in the passenger seat.
  3. I always know which basket of laundry is clean and which one is dirty, as well as a full inventory of the actual pieces of clothing in each.
  4. I’ll run all the way around the neighborhood to stay between my new bike rider and the street, even though normally can’t run to the end of the driveway without gasping for air.
  5. I’ll read eight(teen) Shel Silverstein poems to my kids. Even two long ones.
  6. I’ll play three words in Words With Friends while my kids holler at each other.
  7. I pretend my kids are invisible when their dad (who is magic) puts an invisibility spell on them. I can hear them giggling, but totally can’t even see them.
  8. I finish arguments with “Because I said so!”
  9. I use my finely-honed detective skills to identify the owner of unflushed, unclaimed bathroom deposits.
  10. I say “Five more minutes,” for at least 30 minutes, and wonder why my kids have no concept of time.
  11. I can Crock Pot the hell out of some dinner.
  12. When the weather is nice, I roll with my posse to the park.
  13. I use all of the bad words with my friends and most of the bad words on this blog, but around my kids I say “toot” and “bottom”. #likeamom
I’m obviously still kind of a badass, because when I realized this list ended with the dreaded #13, I just left it. Like a boss.
What do you do #likeamom? How about #likeadad?
[Tweet “I say “Five more minutes,” for at least 30 minutes, and wonder why my kids have no concept of time. #likeamom”]

One thought on “Like a Mom

  1. Cider is one of my favorite tighns. There are two local farms here which press their own, and I enjoy them greatly in October of each year. Your spiced cider sounds like a good substitute the rest of the year.

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