I think my kids are hi-larious, and I find them the most humorous when they are unhappy. I don’t have time to wonder what that says about me as a mom, because I’m too busy taking pictures of these situations with my phone. Here is some photo evidence of my amusement.
You say, “Holy shit! Do we need to call poison control?!” I say, “Aw, Lily! Yes, your lipstick looks amazing. Give me all the markers, and go show your dad. But first, let me take a picture real quick before he cleans you up.”
You say, “Oh no! She cut her own hair!” I say, “Huh. I thought it looked like you had layers now. When did you do that? Oh, two days ago? Well, let me get a picture real quick before we have the scissors talk. Where ARE those scissors?” (See marker lipstick picture for the new layers. I think she did a nice job.)
You say, “What an adorable Harry Potter!” I say, “That’s right, and he’s even cuter when I’m making him give me one of his treats. Hey, Graham, hold that pose while I take a picture real quick.”
You may say, “Oh, poor bud. He had dental work done.” I say, “Hey, receptionist lady, doesn’t it look like my kid is chewing on a tampon? Let me take a picture real quick before we make his follow-up appointment.”
You say, “Look at that adorable little girl hiding under the table. Wait. What? What is she…is she eating the under-the-table gum?!” I say, “Gross! Knock it off! But before you get up, look over here.”